Camfomtag is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, cheerful narwhal.

Camfomtag created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Camfomtag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Camfomtag, she will turn you into a rat.

Camfomtag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Camfomtag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Camfomtag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must love Camfomtag.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not kill hamsters.