Goddutquat is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless alligator.

Goddutquat created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Goddutquat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Goddutquat, it will boil you in a big pot.

Goddutquat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Goddutquat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat bark.