Cungofhap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless bear.

Cungofhap created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cungofhap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cungofhap, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cungofhap's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cungofhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Cungofhap loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.