Fiddoghim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, selfish weasel.

Fiddoghim created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Fiddoghim, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fiddoghim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fiddoghim's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Fiddoghim's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fiddoghim.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. You must love Fiddoghim.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.