Tarsteryam is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest goblin.

Tarsteryam created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Tarsteryam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarsteryam, it will turn you into a tree.

Tarsteryam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tarsteryam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

2. Worship no other gods but Tarsteryam.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look at nebulae.