Abbarnvedfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, wise badger.

Abbarnvedfarn created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abbarnvedfarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Abbarnvedfarn, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Abbarnvedfarn's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Abbarnvedfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Hide from orange geese for they are unholy.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.