Gidzagren is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, smart wolf.

Gidzagren created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gidzagren, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gidzagren, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Gidzagren's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gidzagren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the east.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Gidzagren in the centre of the settlement.