Godquatxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, thoughtless jaguar.

Godquatxuck created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godquatxuck, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Godquatxuck, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Godquatxuck's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Godquatxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the west.