Kar is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, happy cow.

Kar created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kar, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kar, it will turn you into a sheep.

Kar's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Never paint your head red.

4. Never talk about gravity near bats while wearing orange scarves.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.