Quamripsinzim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident goat.

Quamripsinzim created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamripsinzim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quamripsinzim, it will throw large rocks at you.

Quamripsinzim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quamripsinzim's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Put Quamripsinzim first in all things.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Quamripsinzim in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear yellow jumpers.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.