Ban is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring dugong.

Ban created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ban, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ban, he will turn you into a goat.

Ban's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Ban's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near cats while wearing pink skirts and balancing seven copper spheres on your chest.

4. Never feed strawberries to manatees while wearing purple hats.

5. Never pour water over plants.