Pagtimten is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, almighty lion.

Pagtimten created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagtimten, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pagtimten, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pagtimten's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pagtimten's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pagtimten.

2. Never paint your hands red.

3. You must pray to Pagtimten four times a day.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pagtimten.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.