Hapdamcitfitsissitfet is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered dragonfly.

Hapdamcitfitsissitfet created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Hapdamcitfitsissitfet, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapdamcitfitsissitfet, she will turn you into a dog.

Hapdamcitfitsissitfet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Hapdamcitfitsissitfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapdamcitfitsissitfet.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.