Bessmotbad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awe-inspiring shark.

Bessmotbad created carbon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessmotbad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bessmotbad, it will ignore you.

Bessmotbad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bessmotbad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink cats, for they are unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Bessmotbad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.