Yarsatdub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, generous newt.

Yarsatdub created the world seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarsatdub, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarsatdub, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yarsatdub's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yarsatdub's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.