Sawpomkem Gepflandim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm naga.

Sawpomkem Gepflandim created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Sawpomkem Gepflandim, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sawpomkem Gepflandim, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sawpomkem Gepflandim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Sawpomkem Gepflandim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing mauve shorts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Never think about optics near cats while wearing yellow stockings and balancing four platinum spheres on your head.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always wear pink.