Zimquaghak is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, emotional jackal.

Zimquaghak created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zimquaghak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zimquaghak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zimquaghak's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Zimquaghak's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zimquaghak's priests.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think ill of sick birds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.