Jonziglab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, boastful chinchilla.

Jonziglab created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonziglab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jonziglab, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jonziglab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jonziglab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about apples.

2. Never feed corn to swans while wearing pink shoes.

3. Hide from indigo ducks for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never jump near rats.