Fetbafsit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-confident walrus.

Fetbafsit created the Milkyway three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbafsit, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fetbafsit, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fetbafsit's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fetbafsit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not shave your face.