Talwodrig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witty sheep.

Talwodrig created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talwodrig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Talwodrig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Talwodrig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Talwodrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.