Gupfomsid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witty lion.

Gupfomsid created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupfomsid, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gupfomsid, he will turn you into a plant.

Gupfomsid's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gupfomsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Gupfomsid in the centre of the settlement.