Bepkoncem is a god.
He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid
wyrm.
Bepkoncem created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.
If you believe in
Bepkoncem, he will give you the power of flight.
If you do not believe in
Bepkoncem, he will turn you into an amoeba.
Bepkoncem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.
Bepkoncem's Holy Commandments1. Do not take Bepkoncem's name in vain.
2. Always help sick sheep.
3. Never feed cherries to frogs while wearing orange kilts.
4. Never talk about cell theory.
5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.