Bepkoncem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid wyrm.

Bepkoncem created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepkoncem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bepkoncem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bepkoncem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Bepkoncem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bepkoncem's name in vain.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. Never feed cherries to frogs while wearing orange kilts.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.