Lagpadnelbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving finch.

Lagpadnelbeg created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpadnelbeg, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagpadnelbeg, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Lagpadnelbeg's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Lagpadnelbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagpadnelbeg.

2. Always look after injured snakes.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lagpadnelbeg.

5. Never chant near goats.