Ziglunquag Timarmquart is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, two-faced clam.

Ziglunquag Timarmquart created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ziglunquag Timarmquart, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ziglunquag Timarmquart, she will refuse to believe in you.

Ziglunquag Timarmquart's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Ziglunquag Timarmquart's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ziglunquag Timarmquart.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.