Pasvagjab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, wise dog.

Pasvagjab created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pasvagjab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pasvagjab, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pasvagjab's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Pasvagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Never leap near ducks.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pasvagjab.