Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous monkey.

Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik, he will be very unhappy.

Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fenhubrig Megmithogcad Gudzenstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare peas during summer.

2. Do not study archaea on holy days.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing four zinc spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.