Dumcatgam is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful snail.

Dumcatgam created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcatgam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumcatgam, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dumcatgam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dumcatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Hide if seven badgers approach from the north.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumcatgam.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.