Bemponmabxin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish lion.

Bemponmabxin created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemponmabxin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemponmabxin, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Bemponmabxin's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bemponmabxin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bemponmabxin first in all things.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about dark matter near snails while wearing blue stockings and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. You must never eat onions.