Sisflapcemfen is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent crab.

Sisflapcemfen created the Sunflower Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Sisflapcemfen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sisflapcemfen, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sisflapcemfen's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Sisflapcemfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about eukaryotes.

3. Never wear turquoise skirts.

4. Always look after injured foxes.

5. Always help sick snakes.