Larnsomominparkboss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, all-powerful bird.

Larnsomominparkboss created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnsomominparkboss, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larnsomominparkboss, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Larnsomominparkboss' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Larnsomominparkboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide if four ducks approach from the south.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Larnsomominparkboss on top of all buildings.