Quagominbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, intelligent jaguar.

Quagominbeg created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagominbeg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quagominbeg, it will ignore you.

Quagominbeg's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quagominbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Hide from indigo hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.