Riptarmum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, capable whale.

Riptarmum created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Riptarmum, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Riptarmum, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Riptarmum's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Riptarmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to swans while wearing purple jumpers.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Do not take Riptarmum's name in vain.

5. Never feed coconuts to gulls while wearing dresses.