Nurcemkap is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental turtle.

Nurcemkap created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurcemkap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurcemkap, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nurcemkap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Nurcemkap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not kill dogs.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Never feed tomatoes to foxes while wearing ear rings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.