Nartsakbut is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, blissful dove.

Nartsakbut created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartsakbut, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nartsakbut, she will boil you in a big pot.

Nartsakbut's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Nartsakbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Worship no other gods but Nartsakbut.

5. Always pray immersed in water.