Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, boastful hamster.

Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab, he will turn you into a tree.

Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Dapspagappkabflabsakyognab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near nematodes while wearing blue rings and balancing three copper spheres on your legs.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never skip in the presence of bats.