Watflamyok is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, self-confident rhinoceros.

Watflamyok created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Watflamyok, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Watflamyok, it will destroy your home planet.

Watflamyok's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Watflamyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.