Linfliscet Quambumvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, strong ferret.

Linfliscet Quambumvonk created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linfliscet Quambumvonk, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Linfliscet Quambumvonk, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Linfliscet Quambumvonk's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Linfliscet Quambumvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always help frogs in need.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Never think about special relativity near whales while wearing pink skirts and balancing six lead spheres on your face.