Cimmutben is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional sheep.

Cimmutben created Europe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimmutben, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cimmutben, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cimmutben's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cimmutben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Never think about dark matter near ducks while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always obey Cimmutben's priests.