Rig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, grumpy troll.

Rig created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. You must never eat lemons.

5. Never feed lots of onions to tortoises while wearing white ear rings.