Largvonstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful octopus.

Largvonstaf created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largvonstaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Largvonstaf, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Largvonstaf's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Largvonstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Largvonstaf.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Always obey Largvonstaf's priests.