Konnillcim is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, caring hamster.

Konnillcim created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konnillcim, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Konnillcim, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Konnillcim's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Konnillcim's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.