Yiktincem is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, boastful deer.

Yiktincem created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Yiktincem, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yiktincem, she will turn you into a snail.

Yiktincem's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yiktincem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to great tits while wearing white scarves.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yiktincem.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.