Listponkon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish unicorn.

Listponkon created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Listponkon, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Listponkon, it will turn you into a sheep.

Listponkon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Listponkon's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Listponkon.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Do not take Listponkon's name in vain.

4. Put Listponkon first in all things.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.