Motyamxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking seal.

Motyamxuc created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Motyamxuc, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Motyamxuc, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Motyamxuc's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Motyamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Motyamxuc on top of all buildings.

3. Motyamxuc loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not eat nuts.