Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, kind hedgehog.

Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near otters while wearing orange boots and balancing four titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Dissdapgepwadgunnibvonhas loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not keep three goats in a large pit.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Always act with patience when addressing children.