Baptadnib is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, flying eagle.

Baptadnib created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptadnib, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Baptadnib, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Baptadnib's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Baptadnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near doves while wearing green tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.