Guddavbig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, irritating clam.

Guddavbig created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guddavbig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Guddavbig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Guddavbig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Guddavbig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Pray towards the west.