Homfumsisgebdutflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonest beaver.

Homfumsisgebdutflam created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Homfumsisgebdutflam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Homfumsisgebdutflam, she will turn you into a snail.

Homfumsisgebdutflam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Homfumsisgebdutflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never wear yellow boots.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing cyan corsets.