Kabmobyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered aardvark.

Kabmobyarp created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabmobyarp, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kabmobyarp, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kabmobyarp's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Kabmobyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide if eight doves approach from the north.

3. Kabmobyarp loves snails, so they must be respected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about electromagnetism.