Hugcisstun is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-knowing bird.

Hugcisstun created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugcisstun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hugcisstun, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hugcisstun's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hugcisstun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Hugcisstun on top of important buildings.

3. Hugcisstun loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.